You’ve stumbled across a receipt, saw a picture, read a text message or he's admitted to it. In any case, now you know. He’s cheated. You feel sick to your stomach. You’re confused and hurt and angry and deceived.Finding out that the man you love has cheated on you or is currently having an affair is one of the most devastating discoveries a woman can make. No amount of chocolate, alcohol, chick flicks or supportive friends can ease the pain. The anger and confusion you are experiencing are normal.
So, what is your next move? Should you leave a cheater?
The answer to this is a simple yes. It is an absolute must regardless of if you want to move on without him or if you want a future with him. In this situation, there should only be one decision. You either leave with your dignity intact or if you do want things to work out you have to punish him. This is key if you don't want him to repeat his actions, you must discipline him the right way.
So how do you do it? In my book This Girls Got Game I offer a step-by-step guide on how to deal with the betrayal shrewdly but more importantly punish him the right way strategically so he never does it again. Click here to find out more.
In the meantime, here is a preview of some basic strategies you can use.
If you want him to regret his mistake, cut him off
Let him feel how life is without you. He expects you to show emotion by getting angry or sad. Then after that runs out, he thinks you’ll forgive him. But cutting him off and speaking through your actions is a knock to his ego. He hurt you because he had control of the relationship and could get away with whatever he wanted. By cutting him off, you show him that you love and respect yourself, put yourself first, and will remove yourself from anyone or any situation that makes you feel inferior. By treating yourself with integrity, dignity, and loyalty, you show him the standard of how you need to be treated. In doing so, he will respect you for it.
Look out for number 1
You need to protect yourself. Men who cheat on you will deceive you in other ways. Financially, physically, emotionally. Check your finances and move money into a new account. You can’t trust this person, he isn’t who you thought he was. Don’t put anything past him, he is capable of everything.
You’re going to get weak, it’s totally normal. You will doubt that you’re doing the right thing sometimes. If he is sorry, he will do the hard work and pursue you regardless of what you do. When you feel weak, think of the evidence again and let the anger fuel your cause. The pain is unavoidable, push past it.
Do you want your ex back, in a tough situation with your man or just need a knowledgeable friend to help?
Contact Leandra for 1-2-1 advice, help, support and coaching for any relationship situation:
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