A woman's control to grant or withhold sex from an ex is so effective in getting him back, yet women don't use this to their advantage. They choose to give it away so effortlessly in the hope of feeling temporarily wanted and loved. Women sleep with their ex in the hopes of making them remember the passion they shared. It's understandable to think this will work, as this is how a woman builds an intimate connection with a man - by making love. But it doesn't work this way after a breakup.
Ladies lets address this fact straight away - Just because he wants to sleep with you doesn’t automatically mean he wants to get back together with you. If you want a simple answer to the question Should I have sex with my ex? Here's the answer NO and here is why.
In my book " This Girl's Got an Ex" ( Click Here) I give detailed strategies on how to be his dream girl and provide much more information on how to handle a breakup.
1: It Will Ruin your Chances of Getting him Back
So you have been cool, calm and collected. You have followed the no contact rule and made him pursue you and now feel like you are 1 step ahead of him, that's great. Here's the thing though, if you sleep with him before he has properly committed to being your boyfriend again, all of your hard work would have been in vain, you will be worse of than you started.Before sex, a woman is thinking clearly and a man isn't because his hormones have taken control and he has an insatiable need to conquer and sleep with a woman. After sex, the tables turn and the woman is being lead by her emotions and the man is no longer. So instead of making an ex realize what he's lost she will lose control of her emotions and act in a way that ruins any progress she has made as well as validating his reasons for not wanting to be with her.
2: It Complicates Things
The breakup took place because there were complications in the relationship and having sex at this stage will only add another complication to the mix and make the clarity of the possibility of reconciliation confusing. Sex during a breakup steers the relationship from emotional to physical. The base cravings are fulfilled, but communication and commitment will still be lacking. And there are only a few problems that sex can solve.
Not only does it make things cloudy it can make things extremely awkward. You will both be laying there thinking what do you say to each other? What is the other one thinking? What does it all mean? The last thing you want is for him to think being intimate with you was a mistake which will cause more confusion and more heartbreak for the woman involved.
3: It Doesn't Mean as Much to Him
If you ask any man if they had the chance, would they have sex with their ex again, and I can guarantee 90% would say YES and the other 10% would be lying.Guys won’t hesitate to send mixed signals when there is the potential for sex.
When a woman thinks about having sex with an ex she views this as a way to rebuild the emotional connection and love between each other. The thing is men don’t necessarily attach the same value to sex that woman do. Men can easily sleep with a woman with no emotions involved even if he has cared for her in the past. It is called ex-SEX for a reason because it is just sex to men.
4: It's Actually a Turn Off for Him
Men love to play games but sometimes men don’t initially recognize what they really want. Men have an inner battle with themselves: a part of them wants to win quickly (sleeping with an ex), but a larger part of them wants to win with skill. When a man accomplishes something easily, he gets angry at himself and resents the girl for ruining his own self-rivalry. In a way, it's like cheating in a game. It feels good for a second, but then reality sinks in, and he's upset that he didn't win because of his hard work but rather from your weakness . If it's easy, he's not satisfied he becomes bored because the thrill of the chase is gone. In one way, he would love to have sex, BUT if it happens he almost certainly will look at you in a different way.This will put him off you because without you even realizing it you will turn from girlfriend to booty call!
5: You Lose your Value and Power
If a woman portrays herself as easy to obtain without an ex's re-commitment she loses her value and demand because her appeal deteriorates almost instantly. Jumping at the first chance she gets to be intimate with an ex means she may believe it’s the only chance she gets to create a connection again. This is when you hear men referring to girls as desperate, clingy, or insecure.Men like women who value and respect themselves, so when he is finally able to have sex with her, he feels like he is with someone rare, a true prize who has standards. This is because only 20% of women can refrain from having sex with an ex until he has recommitted properly by proving himself, not just saying what she wants to hear.
It's all about playing your cards intelligently, even if you must bluff about your hand. Playing hard to get is the bluff. You keep the valuable cards close to test his ability to invest. It increases your demand in his eyes because he can't read your cards or your poker face. It also gives you a chance to see what he brings to the table and if he really wants to get back together.
6: A Girl with Game is Never Easy to get, Especially After a Breakup.
Some woman think, “Well I played hard to get in the beginning but he was my boyfriend, we have slept together loads of times why can’t I now?" Sex didn’t prevent him from breaking up or hurting you and it’s not going to get him back. Not only will it complicate everything it will most definitely make you feel used and disrespected. You don’t want to become a desperate woman throwing yourself on a man that rejected you. The only way he should get the benefit of sex from you is if he commits to giving things another go as your boyfriend. This is the time to remind him that you are a woman who respects herself, who doesn’t compromise her mind, body and soul for someone who isn’t committed to offering the same. Nobody is worth giving up your dignity for.
Remember ladies Sex is a conquest to a man. If you sleep with him too soon, he doesn't have anything to look forward to from that point onward. A Girl with Game sends the right signals by taking it slow. She evaluates if a guy is being truly genuine through his actions not his words. When the time comes, the sex she has with him will be more meaningful to her and be more fulfilling for the man.
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