Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the myths we have been programmed to believe. Society and the media have created tales designed to make us withdraw our feminine power instead of displaying it.
Throughout the years of coaching and speaking to thousands of women from all walks of life, I can tell you that we have all been fed the same lies.
Today, I thought it would be fun to cover my top 3 toxic myths about relationships that ALL Girls with Game MUST know. Knowledge is power, and so, my friend, it is time to bust these myths.
Myth #1: "I can make a man commit to me if I am nice."
We have been subconsciously told that men want to date or commit to a "nice" woman. Well, that is true to a certain extent, no one wants to be with a "mean" person, yet why is it that most men are attracted and commit to assertive women, and the nice girls tend to always finish last?
Nice women cannot understand how they can, give their all to a man, supposedly do everything right—yet never get their happy ending. They cannot understand why their "good" behavior doesn't lead to love, respect, or commitment. After all, we're all made to believe that is what men want, right? Treat a man like a king, and in return, he will make you his queen and love you forever... not quite.
When we do nice things for men, we invest in them. Those investments of time and energy make us feel that the man we are with is valuable, that we love them, and we are committed to the relationship with them.
Doing favors for men, and treating them well leads us to value and love them. However, the reverse is not true. The receiver of good treatment doesn't really feel much for the giver. Whoever is doing good deeds will fall in love. But, whoever is receiving the investment doesn't. The nice woman is responsible for all of the "doing." She's waiting for him to decide what he wants, she's loving, buying gifts, booking getaways, etc. As a result, she has a lot of love for him. But, he has not invested. He doesn't give so, he's not as in love or committed.
Myth #2: "You need to be a supermodel to attract Mr.Right"
This is SO not true.
We have been programmed to believe that if we look good, we can not only attract a man but keep him too. Let me ask you a question... How many women in Hollywood have faithful men? Think of a beautiful woman, and I bet she has been cheated on, disrespected, or dumped.
Looks aren't nearly as important to a man as charisma. As a Girl with Game, you need to understand that although grooming yourself is a sign of self-respect, it isn't your ticket to love. However, feminine charm and using the art of persuasion is your answer. For years I have been helping women tap into this natural gift.
It is pretty simple. I show women how to captivate a man with their confidence, charisma, and intelligence. If you believe you are powerful, you will be. Your influence over men is because of your self-belief, and that is what will make you unforgettable. I have seen it time and time again with all my clients, so I know that you can unlock the same power too!
Myth #3: "Good communication is all about talking"
I can totally understand why women would believe in this, and you are correct in thinking that communication is a HUGE part of having a good relationship. What we don't consider is that men and women communicate differently. I have tested this theory out, and I know you have too. It just doesn't work because men do not communicate with words as much as they do with action.
Today, we live in a society where we are encouraged to talk about our problems. Although that is wonderful and I obviously agree with the sentiment, I don't believe as a female race, we have mastered how to converse with men. In reality, having long in-depth conversations with a man about your relationship problems and feelings only hurts you more as a couple.
In my eyes, excellent communication is about quality, NOT quantity. What I mean by this is if your man has done something to upset you, your job is to bring it up once then let it simmer. He should be able to feel that there is an issue without you ever having to bring it up again. And no, I definitely do not mean sulking, crying, or stomping around the house.
Men are so used to women using their words that when we don't, alarm bells start ringing in their head, and he knows something is up. Always remember LESS IS MORE! Fewer tears, less nagging, less anger, fewer discussions, and, most importantly, fewer words.
If something is upsetting you, stay calm and BRIEFLY communicate what you are upset about then subtly pull back to create some distance. It is essential to do this in a non-sulky way while he processes the situation and decides what he wants to do about it.
Silence is golden because it has value. He'll most likely start to reflect on what he did to upset you because you have pointed the problem out and allowed him space and time to think about his actions. He is much more likely to change a particular behavior if he has decided to do so on his own and wasn't nagged or told to by you.
Believing in any of the above myths will hinder you from discovering your true confidence. As someone who coaches for a living, I have seen breakthrough after breakthrough, and I know that it is not as difficult as you think to get your mojo back and feel irreplaceable.
To get you started on your relationship confidence journey, I am offering a mini guide with 5 communication hacks that allow you to communicate persuasively with men.
Yes I Want That
Step #1: Click the yellow download button above and read this incredible guide
Step #2: Read "This Girl's Got an Ex" and " This Girl's Got Game"- HERE
Step #3: Have a look at our 30-Day Workbooks-HERE
Step #4: Join our Facebook Group - HERE
Step #5: Contact Leandra for 1:1 Coaching