- Aug 17, 2020
- 2 min read
Updated: Feb 10, 2021
If you had unlimited confidence, what would you do with it?
Amy would apply for that dream job.
Kerry would move to Europe.
Tina would have the motivation to lose those extra pounds she’s been meaning to lose.
Diane would know how to attract Mr. Right.
Sally would communicate in a charismatic way with men.
Heather would leave the relationship she felt she was settling in
Candice would join that dating site.
Have you thought what you would do if confidence weren’t an issue?
Grab a pen and piece of paper and, I want you to write down three things you would do if confidence weren’t an issue.
Once you have determined why confidence is important to you, your next step is to take action. Here are 3 powerful ways to unlock your internal confidence.
1: Adjust your focus
The only way to change something is to find a solution. If you focus on the problem, you give that issue the momentum to grow in size: more reasons to feel bad, more opportunities to put yourself down, more experiences to fear.
Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence. This is why I love being a coach; we are resolution centered. “I’m unhappy and single!” So how can you solve that? “But I don’t know how to attract a good man!” So how can you solve that? “But I do not know what strategies to use” So what’s the solution? Look at your struggles in life as opportunities? What can help you solve your problem?
2: Practice Gratitude
I believe the quickest way to get into alignment with your higher powerful woman is to practice gratitude. Appreciation, positivity, and love are equal to alignment, confidence, and happiness. Gratitude is always the opposite of resistance and insecurity, so let appreciation always be your starting point when you are in a negative state or mindset. Make it a point to find things to be thankful for.
3: Empower yourself with knowledge
Knowledge will always equal power, and power always gives you the ability to influence those around you, especially a man. In general, awareness is the key strategy for unlocking your internal confidence because when you know better, you do better, and this is the beauty of knowledge - it’s renewable. Knowledge doesn’t expire– you can use it over and over again. Even if everything else was taken from you, no one can take away your dignity which is supported with confidence, and created through knowledge.
To get you started on your confidence journey, I am offering a FREE mini confidence journal
Click HERE to download your FREE confidence workbook Journal
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What does it mean to be a high-value woman?
It's not about looks, money, or being unbothered all the time. High-value means your standards are reflected in your behaviour, not just your words. You don't tolerate what doesn't serve you. You don't perform for attention. You don't shrink to keep someone comfortable. It's a posture, not a personality.
How do I become more feminine in a relationship?
Stop trying to manage the outcome. Masculine energy controls; feminine energy receives. If you're the one initiating, planning, fixing, chasing — you're in masculine mode and his masculine has nowhere to go. Step back. Let him show you what he'll do when you stop doing it for him.
How do I stop chasing him?
Stop reaching for the phone when you feel insecure. Stop double-texting. Stop initiating plans. Stop being the one keeping the connection warm. It will feel unbearable for about 5 days. Then it stops feeling unbearable. Then you realise how much energy you were spending propping up something he wasn't carrying his share of.
How do I make a man pursue me?
You don't make him. You become someone worth pursuing — and then leave space for the pursuit to happen. If you fill every gap, there's nothing for him to close. Most women lose pursuit by trying to make it easier for him. Pursuit requires friction. Don't be hard work. Just stop being the one doing the work.
Should I always wait for him to text first?
Not always. But in early dating, yes. The frequency he chooses to contact you in the first 3 months tells you exactly how much he wants to be in your life. If you're filling the silence, you're getting fake data. Let him show you the real number.