- Apr 7, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 4, 2021
When a woman is dumped, she spends too much time trying to sell the idea of being the perfect woman.
She may do this by exaggerating her value out of the fear of being inferior. She jumps through hoops, sacrifices, and forgives far too easily.
As women, we always want to show a man what we can offer because we want security and assurance. We try to be the perfect woman out of fear that a man will not want us or leave us for good. This is transparent to an ex, and if allowed, he will use it to his advantage!
So… how do we switch power in a breakup situation?
What is the ultimate strategy move?
The answer is Care Less, so He Cares More
Get your own personalized Game Plan from Leandra on how to use this strategy
Understandably it is hard to not care when you have an insatiable desire for a man you feel cannot be won over right now. The fact that you want him but cannot have him right now is a blow to your ego. With your vanity wounded, your mind will try to get your sense of self-worth back up to what it was. It does this by driving you to retrieve whatever did the damage in the first place. Which, in this case, is your ex!
When you act emotionally, your ex will learn three things:
1: You care more than he does. 2: He’s in control. 3: How to use your weaknesses against you.
Chasing him will push him even further away from you. Thus, begins the vicious cycle of wounding your self-worth even more and making your need for him intensify. A Girl with no Game will attempt at negotiating, pleading, or trying to manipulate a man with sex, but this never works.
Caring less is a strategy that highlights why a Girl with Game is different from the average woman. She forgets about instant gratification and instead looks at the bigger picture. She does NOT hide in her house for weeks with her phone in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. She does NOT give ultimatums, and she certainly does NOT wait around for him to decide what he wants.
A Girl with Game understands that you have to leave him out of the equation to get him. In other words, you have a much better chance of getting him to realize what he’s lost if he doesn’t feel pressured into feeling it.
A Girl with Game’s approach is to respect herself and his decision, and she “moves on.” She carries herself in a way that affirms she is not desperate, and if he does not want her, that’s okay, another man will. She does not say this but instead shows him. As painful as it is and as afraid as she might be to lose him, she will always maintain her dignity. She will never chase, especially when she is being cast aside.
The less you say after the breakup, the more power you will have. Your job is to be a blank page; he should not be able to read what you are feeling or thinking. This is your opportunity to show him that you are incomparable to any other woman: no dramatics, guilt trips, or “ugly” crying. There is no need right now to have any further conversations after the breakup. If you are blasé and calm, he thinks, “Mmm, this girl is different.”
When you become different in his eyes, you become irreplaceable.
By not caring that much, you are making it clear that maybe he is not as unique as he thought he was. What man does not like to feel special?
Emotion shows him that you can be manipulated. When you are neutral, suddenly, you are a challenge again. He will have to convince you of how special he is!
XXX Leandra
Get your own personalized Game Plan HERE
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The first 30 days set the entire trajectory.
The Breakup Repositioning Reset is the step-by-step playbook for the most fragile window after he leaves. Stop the dignity-killing mistakes. Reset your position with power.
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What should I do in the first 48 hours after a breakup?
Less than you think. The instinct is to call, explain, fix, clarify. Don't. The first 48 hours is where most women lose their position permanently — by reaching out from panic, apologising for things that didn't need apologising for, or asking him to reconsider. Sit with the discomfort. Don't make it worse.
How do I stop wanting to text him?
You don't stop wanting to. You stop acting on it. The want is a craving, not a signal. Every time you don't text, the craving weakens. Every time you do, it gets stronger. The first three days are the hardest. After that, it's a different kind of hard, but it shrinks.
Will he regret breaking up with me?
Some do. Some don't. The ones who regret it are usually the ones who broke up impulsively or because of external pressure — not the ones who'd been planning it. You can't engineer regret. You can stop doing the things (over-explaining, chasing, begging) that guarantee he doesn't feel any.
Should I tell him how much he hurt me?
Not now. Maybe not ever. Telling him gives him your emotional position — and a man who left isn't owed your emotional position. If you need to process it, write it somewhere he won't see. Send it to a friend. Don't hand him the exact map of where he hit you.
How long does breakup pain actually last?
Acute pain: 3 to 6 weeks. Dull ache: 3 to 6 months. Occasional sting when something reminds you: a year or more. That's normal. Healing isn't a straight line and you don't get to skip the part where it hurts. You can shorten it by not feeding it — no stalking, no rumination loops, no replaying.