- Jan 29, 2022
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 31, 2022
The no-contact rule is hard; there is no doubt about that, and technology makes it even tricky to navigate. Even though mobile devices tend to make, us feel smarter, secure, and more connected. We view the device and the access it brings as an extension of ourselves. We are basically cyborgs because our phones are glued to our hands. We are so used to them bleeping, ringing, or vibrating – trying to get our attention. This is why, during a breakup, a smartphone can be your worst enemy.
Not only will it tempt you to make contact, but it can feel as though your phone is insulting you with its silence. Your phone can cause your hope to plummet every time you see NO new messages. Without realizing it, you use your phone as an instrument to measure your ex’s interest in you. So, it can get extremely discouraging when an ex doesn’t contact you during the no-contact period. His silence doesn’t mean that being a Silent Siren didn’t work. It can be entirely possible that the no-contact rule is working, but you have no idea because he isn’t easy bait.
1: He’s Heard About the no Contact Rule
Most men fall for this strategy instantly, but the no-contact rule is so popular now that many might be suspicious of your actions. This especially rings true if you have told mutual friends or family of your plans to cut him off for 60 days. This is tricky because he is probably going to be thinking of the whole silence strategy as a game. The first person to reach out loses the game, and he will refuse to lose that game. This is why it’s crucial not to let anyone know you are initiating the 60-day decree.
2: He’s Stubborn
Some men are incredibly stubborn and will refuse to be the one that reaches out first during the no-contact period. You see, in their minds, they feel “entitled” to a response. These are generally the Alpha wannabes that believe they are the ones in charge of everything and everyone. The problem with stubborn men is that they won’t want to communicate. If he refuses to contact you now, it will be challenging to make things work if you get back together. He will expect you to do all of the work.
3: You Slipped Up
In a moment of weakness, did you “accidentally” bump into your ex? Texted him a happy birthday message? Spoke about him to a mutual friend? If you think there’s nothing wrong with a little contact, you are wrong. All of these small actions destroy your chances of getting back with an ex. You are not giving your ex an opportunity to miss your presence in his life. This means he has no incentive to be the one making contact.
4: You’re Too Visible After the Breakup
An ex will always want to know what you are up to. It doesn’t matter if he ended things. It’s human nature for men to be curious about how a woman has moved on after the breakup. This is precisely why keeping a low profile is so important. An ex who can see where you are (and what you’re doing) and your 100 selfies of you won’t feel your absence from his life. He will know you’re not going anywhere, seeing anyone new, or doing anything that would prevent him from getting you back if he changed his mind. You want him to wonder if you’re out having fun, not be sure of it. You want him to notice your weight loss, not see it posted every week on Facebook. You have to provide just enough to get his interest but not enough to lose it.
In my observation, an ex tends to contact you when you least expect it. Some men take longer than others to take action.
xxx Leandra
Learn More About the No Contact Rule
7 Reasons why the no Contact Rule Psychologically Works on men
Did I mess up the No Contact Rule?
Does My Ex Want Me To Contact Him?
Will my Ex Forget About me During no Contact?
When Will he Realize What he Lost and that he Made a Mistake
Get your FREE No-Contact Rule Cheat Sheet HERE
Make an Ex realize what he’s Lost with the No Contact Rule Bundle
Find out more HERE
Get your FREE Mini Breakup Guide HERE
Take Our FREE quiz HERE - Will he realize what he’s lost?
Read This Girl’s Got an Ex - HERE
The first 30 days set the entire trajectory.
The Breakup Repositioning Reset is the step-by-step playbook for the most fragile window after he leaves. Stop the dignity-killing mistakes. Reset your position with power.
Get the Repositioning Reset — $27FAQ.
What should I do in the first 48 hours after a breakup?
Less than you think. The instinct is to call, explain, fix, clarify. Don't. The first 48 hours is where most women lose their position permanently — by reaching out from panic, apologising for things that didn't need apologising for, or asking him to reconsider. Sit with the discomfort. Don't make it worse.
How do I stop wanting to text him?
You don't stop wanting to. You stop acting on it. The want is a craving, not a signal. Every time you don't text, the craving weakens. Every time you do, it gets stronger. The first three days are the hardest. After that, it's a different kind of hard, but it shrinks.
Will he regret breaking up with me?
Some do. Some don't. The ones who regret it are usually the ones who broke up impulsively or because of external pressure — not the ones who'd been planning it. You can't engineer regret. You can stop doing the things (over-explaining, chasing, begging) that guarantee he doesn't feel any.
Should I tell him how much he hurt me?
Not now. Maybe not ever. Telling him gives him your emotional position — and a man who left isn't owed your emotional position. If you need to process it, write it somewhere he won't see. Send it to a friend. Don't hand him the exact map of where he hit you.
How long does breakup pain actually last?
Acute pain: 3 to 6 weeks. Dull ache: 3 to 6 months. Occasional sting when something reminds you: a year or more. That's normal. Healing isn't a straight line and you don't get to skip the part where it hurts. You can shorten it by not feeding it — no stalking, no rumination loops, no replaying.