- Jun 18, 2022
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 5, 2022
A few years ago, I read the book written by Dr. Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages.
In this book, he describes the different ways we as humans express and receive love.
Once I understood my husband’s love language and my own, I was in a better position to communicate effectively with him and tailor my Girl with Game techniques accordingly.
General strategies are great, but it makes it a lot easier when you really know your man.
Here is a breakdown of the 5 love languages
Love language 1: Words of Affirmation
Those who appreciate words of affirmation express affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. This means a person craves kind words in the forms of compliments and reassurances that confirm their love. If a person’s love language is words of affirmation, they need to hear what the other person is thinking or feeling frequently.
Tip: Give your man a shout-out on social media, praising him for an accomplishment, or give him a specific compliment about how good he looks.
Warning: Be gentle when criticizing or scolding him; your words can harm the relationship and his self-esteem more than you know.
Love language 2: Quality Time
If there is a need to spend quality time alone with a partner to bond, a person yearns to receive another’s undivided attention. Enjoying each other’s company, being present, and focusing on each other is key.
Tip: Surprise him with a weekend getaway or dedicate time in your day solely for him.
Warning: Put down the cell phone, make eye contact, and ensure the kids are in bed / occupied when communicating with him. Multitasking will make him feel neglected.
Love language 3: Physical Touch
People who need physical touch desire intimacy and affection. This could be in the form of hugging, cuddling, or any form of gentle contact.
Tip: Public displays of affection are appreciated. This could be holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, or a rub on the back. As long as it’s subtle and appropriate, it will tangibly demonstrate affection.
Warning: Don’t pull away or shrug off a touch. Avoid saying things like “You are annoying me”. This is very hurtful for a person whose love language is physical touch.
Love language 4: Gifts
Gift-giving does not always indicate expensive or over the top, and it is often the sentimental gifts that matter most to a person who identifies love in this way. The energy and thought behind the gift matter most because the present symbolizes the other person’s love.
Tip: Spend extra time arranging a gift and listening closely to the person’s needs or likes.
Warning: Vouchers or gifts given after a special occasion could hurt the other person indirectly.
Love language 5: Acts of Service
For acts of service, a person feels valued when someone performs a helpful activity for the other. It could be running an errand for them, helping them with a task they are struggling with, or making sure the house is tidy and fresh when they come home.
Tip: Try surprising him with something unpredictable. If you have been too busy, dedicate a day to making him his favorite meal.
Warning: He might ask you for favors or errands, not because he’s lazy, but instead because he needs reassurance of your love. Be conscious of the difference.
XXX Leandra
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What does it mean to be a high-value woman?
It's not about looks, money, or being unbothered all the time. High-value means your standards are reflected in your behaviour, not just your words. You don't tolerate what doesn't serve you. You don't perform for attention. You don't shrink to keep someone comfortable. It's a posture, not a personality.
How do I become more feminine in a relationship?
Stop trying to manage the outcome. Masculine energy controls; feminine energy receives. If you're the one initiating, planning, fixing, chasing — you're in masculine mode and his masculine has nowhere to go. Step back. Let him show you what he'll do when you stop doing it for him.
How do I stop chasing him?
Stop reaching for the phone when you feel insecure. Stop double-texting. Stop initiating plans. Stop being the one keeping the connection warm. It will feel unbearable for about 5 days. Then it stops feeling unbearable. Then you realise how much energy you were spending propping up something he wasn't carrying his share of.
How do I make a man pursue me?
You don't make him. You become someone worth pursuing — and then leave space for the pursuit to happen. If you fill every gap, there's nothing for him to close. Most women lose pursuit by trying to make it easier for him. Pursuit requires friction. Don't be hard work. Just stop being the one doing the work.
Should I always wait for him to text first?
Not always. But in early dating, yes. The frequency he chooses to contact you in the first 3 months tells you exactly how much he wants to be in your life. If you're filling the silence, you're getting fake data. Let him show you the real number.