- Nov 5, 2020
- 3 min read
I have been reflecting a lot about drama and the fact that as women, we are never in short supply. It got me thinking as to why and here is the ugly truth.
Our problems can be entertaining, and complaining about them makes us feel normal.
Wow, I know, a hard pill to swallow, right.
You see, people relate to negativity in your life more than they do to the positivity. More people get you when you’re complaining than when you’re not. We have been trained to believe that being optimistic and singing our praises is boasting, bragging, or showing off. Yet sharing our daily complaints with others is acceptable.
Even simple conversations are laced with drama.
Demi: “Traffic was terrible this morning.”
Andy: “Tell me about it. I was 10 minutes late for work.”
Lisa: “At least you have heating in your cars. I have none.”
Rosi: “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
Riley: “Me too, I think I had 3 hours sleep. I need coffee.”
Mandy: “I didn’t sleep a wink; my little one is sick and was up all night.”
When we complain, it starts to habitually become a competition - whoever has the biggest problem, “wins.”
Although it might feel satisfying to get an expression of sympathy on the surface, it’s not actually good for you. All this does is cause you to think negatively and look for more reasons to feel pessimistic, which then makes you view yourself through the filter of your struggles.
I get it trust me, I am no stranger to the struggles of life and in most discussions, I could “win” the why me conversation. But it doesn’t change the fact that things happened and will continue to happen. It’s all about the lense that we see our life through.
We all have a story, we all have struggles, but when you draw attention to your drama, you adopt a victim mentality that confines you. You will look outward to friends and family for help and support. This puts pressure on others to provide you with comfort and encouragement. By doing so, you severely limit your power as a woman to provide these things for yourself.
Staying a victim weakens your capability to do anything about your situation. This is because you feel that any mistreatment you are experiencing is being done “to you” or that your sadness is due to ‘bad luck.” You think there is nothing you can do about it, but this isn’t true. You can change your circumstances and your mindset.
You do this by recognizing that this behavior is unhealthy. You then decide to choose a better way of dealing with the pain and instead do something that genuinely inspires you and makes you feel incredible and capable. There is no need to feel paralyzed with inaction or undervalue your worth.
YOU NEED TO PUT A BOW ON YOUR BRILLIANCE!
Grow, evolve, learn, and transform. Invest in yourself, your happiness, and your life. Things can’t change if you choose not to take action.
There are countless ways for you to start making a positive impact on your life.
IT JUST TAKES THE FIRST STEP OF SAYING YES!
That’s why I am here to help!
I have been on the other side; feeling rejected, struggling in my relationships, being unhappy, comparing myself to others, and wanting to feel confident. I wanted change, I wanted to love, I wanted respect, I wanted to experience a fulfilled relationship. I wanted someone to be there for me and guide me on how to be there for myself.
If you are thinking about working with me hit reply and drop me an email, I will help and teach you my own strategies that helped me charge my own confidence in life and love.
All my love
Leandra
xxx
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What does it mean to be a high-value woman?
It's not about looks, money, or being unbothered all the time. High-value means your standards are reflected in your behaviour, not just your words. You don't tolerate what doesn't serve you. You don't perform for attention. You don't shrink to keep someone comfortable. It's a posture, not a personality.
How do I become more feminine in a relationship?
Stop trying to manage the outcome. Masculine energy controls; feminine energy receives. If you're the one initiating, planning, fixing, chasing — you're in masculine mode and his masculine has nowhere to go. Step back. Let him show you what he'll do when you stop doing it for him.
How do I stop chasing him?
Stop reaching for the phone when you feel insecure. Stop double-texting. Stop initiating plans. Stop being the one keeping the connection warm. It will feel unbearable for about 5 days. Then it stops feeling unbearable. Then you realise how much energy you were spending propping up something he wasn't carrying his share of.
How do I make a man pursue me?
You don't make him. You become someone worth pursuing — and then leave space for the pursuit to happen. If you fill every gap, there's nothing for him to close. Most women lose pursuit by trying to make it easier for him. Pursuit requires friction. Don't be hard work. Just stop being the one doing the work.
Should I always wait for him to text first?
Not always. But in early dating, yes. The frequency he chooses to contact you in the first 3 months tells you exactly how much he wants to be in your life. If you're filling the silence, you're getting fake data. Let him show you the real number.