- May 26, 2016
- 2 min read
Updated: Feb 10, 2021
The ultimate accomplishment in life is being able to accept, embrace and truly love ourselves regardless of our past, imperfections or current circumstances. As women, we revel in the idea of men loving us but in the process, we forget to love ourselves.
We believe that loving ourselves is an emotion you have to trick yourself into feeling by saying statements like (“I love myself, I love myself”) out loud in front of a mirror. Not only is this method awkward to do, but for most women, it’s also ineffective. A logical way to understand how to love yourself is by asking yourself “What should I DO right here, right now, to love myself?” instead of asking yourself “How can I FEEL love for myself?”
Every action has a reaction
Maybe you like to be creative, exercise, have a massage, dance or sing along to music. Whatever it is that gets you motivated and makes you feel good, embrace it and make time for these things as often as possible. When you are feeling down, focus on doing something straight away that makes you feel motivated, confident, content and feel a deep sense of self-worth, your attitude and emotions will reflect this.
Appreciate who you are and what you want
Put yourself first sometimes, stick to your values/beliefs and don’t be willing to compromise if it doesn’t make you happy. Self-respect comes from accepting that what you’re doing is right for YOU. Don’t apologize for your passions or interests if others don’t agree with it.
Be present and mindful of your choices
In order to progress you need to ask yourself several times throughout the day, “Does this thought/choice benefit me, and how?” The more conscious you are of your negative inner dialog and the hasty decisions you make, that damage yourself-love, you will begin to completely change your outlook and life.
Stop wasting time on regret
Regret is wasted time because the reality is we don’t have a time machine and we can’t go back in time and change it. All you can do it think “what is the best aspect of this decision/period in my life” when you realize that everything “bad” has a positive lesson to serve you in future you will release all regret you have in you. In life we have to be faced with contrast - The sun needs the moon, night needs the day and happy needs sad. Without the “bad” how can we distinguish what happy, love, empowerment and confidence feel like?
Loving ourselves isn’t a one-time occurrence. It’s a never-ending, ongoing process. Connecting to yourself by self-affection and appreciation, will over time result in connections with others and you will be able to create loving relationships.
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What does it mean to be a high-value woman?
It's not about looks, money, or being unbothered all the time. High-value means your standards are reflected in your behaviour, not just your words. You don't tolerate what doesn't serve you. You don't perform for attention. You don't shrink to keep someone comfortable. It's a posture, not a personality.
How do I become more feminine in a relationship?
Stop trying to manage the outcome. Masculine energy controls; feminine energy receives. If you're the one initiating, planning, fixing, chasing — you're in masculine mode and his masculine has nowhere to go. Step back. Let him show you what he'll do when you stop doing it for him.
How do I stop chasing him?
Stop reaching for the phone when you feel insecure. Stop double-texting. Stop initiating plans. Stop being the one keeping the connection warm. It will feel unbearable for about 5 days. Then it stops feeling unbearable. Then you realise how much energy you were spending propping up something he wasn't carrying his share of.
How do I make a man pursue me?
You don't make him. You become someone worth pursuing — and then leave space for the pursuit to happen. If you fill every gap, there's nothing for him to close. Most women lose pursuit by trying to make it easier for him. Pursuit requires friction. Don't be hard work. Just stop being the one doing the work.
Should I always wait for him to text first?
Not always. But in early dating, yes. The frequency he chooses to contact you in the first 3 months tells you exactly how much he wants to be in your life. If you're filling the silence, you're getting fake data. Let him show you the real number.