Breakup Strategy

How To Become His Addiction

By Leandra De Andrade
A couple in close embrace beneath an umbrella — connection through real moments
  • Apr 7, 2020
  • 4 min read

Updated: Feb 10, 2021

Hooking a man in a way that consumes him isn’t easy, but it is possible. Women with Game know this, and it gives them an incredible advantage over other women. There are hundreds of strategies to secure a man’s love, so I’m letting you in on a few of my methods.

1: She’s a Challenge

Dating is exciting, but there is always the temptation for a woman to deliver. Whether it’s because she’s caught in the moment or feels the pressure to please a guy. A woman should always take a step back and evaluate what she wants from a man first before she invests anything. That could mean her number, time, energy, body, and heart.

Making it easy for him or wearing your heart on your sleeve decreases the likelihood of having a healthy, loyal, long-term relationship with the man.

When a woman prematurely produces whatever a man “wants,” she tends to become unintentionally irrational when she realizes it’s not what he really wants. She conducts herself in unappealing and desperate ways because subconsciously, she feels she’s compromised her integrity to get him to like her, and it’s backfired. So she is the one reaching out, she’s the one organizing date nights, she’s the one putting her heart on the line. A woman overcompensates because she feels she has to do whatever is in her power to pull him in. Girls with Game know that less is more, she is always out of a man’s reach even when he’s got her.

2: She Creates Mystery

The most important thing a woman can do is to hold her cards close to her chest. Men enjoy the mystery. They like to feel that there’s more to a woman than what they already know.

My friend Shay was a perfect example of this.

During her relationship, she was always open to talking about her feelings, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. She was transparent about her wants and expectations from the relationship. Her boyfriend knew she viewed him as husband material and was already assuming the position as wifey in his life. She always told her boyfriend where she would be and what time she would be back. He knew what he was eating for dinner, and when they would have sex. She took communication in relationships to an entirely different level, and you know where it got her? Dumped! Not only did Shay’s boyfriend realize he had a 100% hold on her, but there was no excitement and mystery. He knew she viewed him as a “catch,” and so he ran. After she worked with me through coaching, Shay’s boyfriend came back and proposed six months later.

How?

When Shay got back together with her boyfriend, she made a conscious decision that this time around, things would be different. She kept him on his toes by stepping out of the wifey role and making him wonder what she felt and wanted. She made her move quietly and stopped communicating about her future plans. When a woman is too open, she thinks, “I’m not playing games,” but that is precisely why she puts herself in a vulnerable position. When a man receives clear signals of interest from a woman, he gets instant gratification. But the feeling quickly fades because he knows where he stands, and the case is closed. But when your behavior and interest in him is uncertain, he can think of little else but you. You become the mystery he must solve, and he will be in constant search for the clues that will get him closer to victory. Subconsciously he will think, “Wow, I can’t stop thinking about her and her next move, she must be something really special if she’s always on my mind.”

3: Make Him - Afraid

If you have been following me for a while, you will know that I have established that talking doesn’t work for men. By talking, you are indirectly telling your man you are waiting for him to change. A Girl with Game will pull back and let her silence do the talking for her. She does this in an assertive way, not a sulky or angry way.

Once your man realizes that you are being distant or more unavailable than usual, that will be your chance to communicate in a relaxed and calm manner. At that point, you make it clear that a particular behavior does not match your standards or expectations. It won’t happen again because if it does, you won’t be around. A Girl with Game does this in such a way that it doesn’t come across as a threat or an ultimatum but rather a matter of fact.

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Photo by Andy Pena on Unsplash.

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Common Questions

FAQ.

What should I do in the first 48 hours after a breakup?

Less than you think. The instinct is to call, explain, fix, clarify. Don't. The first 48 hours is where most women lose their position permanently — by reaching out from panic, apologising for things that didn't need apologising for, or asking him to reconsider. Sit with the discomfort. Don't make it worse.

How do I stop wanting to text him?

You don't stop wanting to. You stop acting on it. The want is a craving, not a signal. Every time you don't text, the craving weakens. Every time you do, it gets stronger. The first three days are the hardest. After that, it's a different kind of hard, but it shrinks.

Will he regret breaking up with me?

Some do. Some don't. The ones who regret it are usually the ones who broke up impulsively or because of external pressure — not the ones who'd been planning it. You can't engineer regret. You can stop doing the things (over-explaining, chasing, begging) that guarantee he doesn't feel any.

Should I tell him how much he hurt me?

Not now. Maybe not ever. Telling him gives him your emotional position — and a man who left isn't owed your emotional position. If you need to process it, write it somewhere he won't see. Send it to a friend. Don't hand him the exact map of where he hit you.

How long does breakup pain actually last?

Acute pain: 3 to 6 weeks. Dull ache: 3 to 6 months. Occasional sting when something reminds you: a year or more. That's normal. Healing isn't a straight line and you don't get to skip the part where it hurts. You can shorten it by not feeding it — no stalking, no rumination loops, no replaying.