- Oct 9, 2022
- 3 min read
Men have always had the upper hand in dating and relationships. Their mixed signals, gaslighting, and love bombing are constantly leaving women in a state of confusion.
This directly impacts our self-confidence and the way that we communicate and carry ourselves. When we are insecure tt makes us predictable and easy to manipulate.
The moment a man feels that he knows what to expect from you, your “spell” on him is broken.
When a man feels in control, it means you have surrendered yourself to him, and you are conquered.
So the only way to maintain the upper hand when you love a man is to create suspense, a calculated pull.
1: Be Mysterious
Men are almost always in control, but they crave the mystery because they value the unknown. If they didn’t, there would not be such a thing as an explorer. It is in their nature to seek out and conquer.
They are instinctual problem solvers, and a mysterious woman tests a man’s mental agility because he has to figure her out.
When a woman is reserved, she provides the man with the exhilarating task of trying to decipher her level of interest in him.
Girls with Game are like a puzzle. If he isn’t able to figure her out, she becomes fascinating
Understanding this is the key to drawing a man into your web of love and desire.
2: Switch things up
Your goal is to always act in a way that leaves him wondering. Thrill him with a sudden change in your direction.
What is she up to? What does she feel for me?
Doing something he does not expect from you will give him a satisfying sense of excitement—he will not be able to anticipate what comes next.
You are always one step ahead, so he will have no choice but to chase you.
This could be anything from the way you dress to your communication or availability.
Your ability to continue to surprise your man will keep him coming back for more, deepening your magnetism and blotting out any other woman who tries to gain his attention.
In relationships, there needs to be uncertainty and suspense, a feeling that, with you, nothing is predictable.
3: Be different
The woman who leaves a man’s mind spinning with 100 questions is a woman who isn’t afraid to challenge him or his point of view.
Never be afraid to stand up for yourself or make yourself a priority because if you are not easily submissive, you will automatically provide a man with an adrenaline-charged hunt. When you are not controllable, are opinionated, and don’t submit to his every rule you mentally stimulate him.
As long as you have emotional control and carry yourself in a composed and respectful manner, never be afraid to stir up his emotions.
4: Create Confined drama
As women, we already create drama, so focus your energy on something you will both enjoy.
Reveal something new about your character, something contradictory to what he believes.
If he thinks you are shy- be bold; if he thinks you are a prude, surprise him with something really naughty. If you are normally emotional, display emotional control.
There are many ways you can be calculated in your surprises and provide some drama he will actually enjoy.
xxx
Leandra
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How do I know if he's gaslighting me?
You walk away from conversations more confused than when you started. You apologise for things you didn't do. You start to question your own memory of events you remember clearly. Gaslighting isn't him disagreeing — it's him rewriting reality until you doubt your own version. If you've started keeping notes to prove things happened, that's the answer.
What's the difference between pulling away and emotional manipulation?
Pulling away is about him. Emotional manipulation is about you. Pulling away can be done badly without being calculated. Manipulation is calculated — designed to keep you off-balance so you're easier to manage. If his withdrawals always coincide with you asking for something reasonable, that's not pulling away. That's punishment.
Why does he love-bomb then pull back?
Because love-bombing is performance, not connection. The intensity at the start was him trying to fast-track attachment so he could relax. Once you're attached, the performance ends — because in his mind, he's already won you. The pullback isn't disinterest. It's him stopping the part he was finding effortful.
How do I leave a manipulative man?
Quietly and completely. Don't announce. Don't explain. Don't give him the script of where you're going emotionally — he'll use it. Cut financial, emotional, and logistical ties first. Then leave once. Going back even once teaches him that leaving is a tactic, not a decision.
Is he toxic or am I overreacting?
Ask yourself: do I feel better or worse after most interactions with him? Worse, consistently, isn't "overreacting." Toxic isn't always loud — sometimes it's the slow drain of always being the one apologising, accommodating, second-guessing. If you can't be yourself around him, that's the answer.