- Jan 6, 2022
- 4 min read
Make no mistake about it; romantic jealousy is a compelling emotion.
This intense feeling comes from your unwillingness to share someone special with others. Whether it’s attention, affection, or love. By allowing it to be shared, you are in danger of losing it for good and no longer able to reap the benefits from it.
You are that something special, and he is in danger of losing you because of his actions.
Jealousy is a natural feeling for him to experience after a breakup, regardless of who did the dumping. Men aren’t as complicated as you might think. They are territorial, and their instinct tells them to protect their property. Even if your man appears to feel no jealousy, he will unquestionably have moments after the breakup when he fears losing you for good to someone else. It’s a natural instinct and it’s part of his nature.
You see, right before the breakup, he was comfortable. He knew how much you loved him, and he knew you were desperate to be with him. You were together for an extended period of time, so you were easily within his reach …until now.
When your ex feels a little bit of jealousy, it’s going to reawaken his dormant feelings. He will be reminded that you are an attractive desirable woman and that he was lucky to have had you. If it is used correctly and in moderation, jealousy can be the motivation behind getting your ex-boyfriend to reach out to you.
Tip 1: Go Out on A Date
Going out on a date can be very useful, especially if your ex-boyfriend finds out about it. When my ex and I broke up, I decided to go out for a drink with another man. I did this to remind myself that my ex wasn’t the only man out there. Other men found me interesting, too, and this was a great way to get my confidence back. Spending time with other men allows you to enjoy receiving attention from the opposite sex and shows your ex that you will move on.
My ex eventually found out through the grapevine that I was dating again and it annoyed him. Not only did dating again remind me of my desirability but I made my ex remember it too. He wasn’t the only man who found me attractive and interesting. Make sure the man you date is interesting or attractive. An uncomfortable date or a forced situation will make you miss your ex even more. Let it be an enjoyable experience, and if your ex finds out about it, he will realize that an amazing woman like you won’t be single for much longer.
Tip 2: Use Mutual Male Friends as Your Pawn
Please only do this if his friends are single.
Pick two attractive friends of his (NOT his best friends) and like a couple of their pictures here and there on social media. Nothing too noticeable but just enough to make your ex’s blood boil. Don’t like every single image, but keep to a 1/3 ratio, one like for every three new pictures and no more than three likes for each guy.
Men always hold a secret male rivalry with their friends. Your ex will feel foolish for giving you a chance to get close to somebody who threatens him.
Tip 3: Use His Weakness Against Him
If there is one thing that men don’t like, it’s their own insecurities. Is he balding? He’s not as good as someone else in a certain sport? He’s insecure about his career or sense of humor? You can use a man’s vulnerabilities as a strategy.
But how?
With the ultimate power move: Play on his insecurities by praising another man who isn’t lacking in the areas he is. Again, make sure it is a mutual friend so he can see the post and only post 1 – 2 compliments. Anything more will be obvious. It needs to seem natural.
“Wow, John, love the new haircut!”
“Well done on your tournament win Mark.”
“Congratulations, on your new promotion Andrew, you are definitely going places.”
“Oh my gosh Dylan this post is so funny, you made me laugh so hard.”
This allows you to bruise his ego a little and make him realize he isn’t perfect. This technique is so easy to use to your advantage because men are posting their accomplishments or pictures on social media every single day! If he thinks there is a chance for a guy (who is “better” than he is), to be interested in you, he’ll be rethinking his decision to remove you from his life in no time. He will do his best to stand out just enough to be noticed by you again.
Tip 4: Let Him See You Really Moving on
If you bump into your ex at a party or mutual friend’s event, he will be expecting you to try to make him jealous. Most women will try this by dancing, kissing, or being overly flirtatious with another man in front of an ex. Over-the-top behavior is transparent to your ex, and he can see right through this.
However, talking intimately away from everyone for a couple of hours in a corner with another man shows your ex you are creating a genuine 1-2-1 connection with someone else. This is a very different approach and way more useful than showing off a rebound boy.
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What should I do in the first 48 hours after a breakup?
Less than you think. The instinct is to call, explain, fix, clarify. Don't. The first 48 hours is where most women lose their position permanently — by reaching out from panic, apologising for things that didn't need apologising for, or asking him to reconsider. Sit with the discomfort. Don't make it worse.
How do I stop wanting to text him?
You don't stop wanting to. You stop acting on it. The want is a craving, not a signal. Every time you don't text, the craving weakens. Every time you do, it gets stronger. The first three days are the hardest. After that, it's a different kind of hard, but it shrinks.
Will he regret breaking up with me?
Some do. Some don't. The ones who regret it are usually the ones who broke up impulsively or because of external pressure — not the ones who'd been planning it. You can't engineer regret. You can stop doing the things (over-explaining, chasing, begging) that guarantee he doesn't feel any.
Should I tell him how much he hurt me?
Not now. Maybe not ever. Telling him gives him your emotional position — and a man who left isn't owed your emotional position. If you need to process it, write it somewhere he won't see. Send it to a friend. Don't hand him the exact map of where he hit you.
How long does breakup pain actually last?
Acute pain: 3 to 6 weeks. Dull ache: 3 to 6 months. Occasional sting when something reminds you: a year or more. That's normal. Healing isn't a straight line and you don't get to skip the part where it hurts. You can shorten it by not feeding it — no stalking, no rumination loops, no replaying.