Digital Behavior

Playing Hard To Get = Having Game

By Leandra De Andrade
A couple in close embrace beneath an umbrella — connection through real moments
  • May 13, 2016
  • 2 min read

Updated: Feb 10, 2021

Okay, so I bet you are thinking back to when you have heard a guy say “I hate it when girls play games and play hard to get” yes I am sure many men you know have said that. Well I am here to tell you that is the biggest lie after “I didn’t look at her” Life is filled with games. From poker to x-box and humans, especially men love to play games.

Sometimes men actually don’t initially recognize what they really want. Men have an inner battle with themselves, a part of them wants to win quickly (getting or sleeping with a girl) however, when he does accomplish this he gets angry at himself and resents the girl for ruining his own self rivalry. In a way it’s like cheating in a game…it feels good for a second but then reality sinks in and he’s upset with himself because he doesn’t feel good enough to actually win due to talent. If it’s easy he’s not satisfied. Males are competitive they crave a challenge, they want to know that the best man won.

This goes back to our cavemen days and if you look at uncultivated tribes and even in wildlife, the message is clear, only the superior male gets the girl. Think about a sports game, card games, athletics or physical fights. He will only truly enjoy the exhilarating game or fight where the competition was compatible when two opponents are similar in skillset therefore making the interaction unpredictable and exciting. The same applies to woman, relationships and love.

When most men are asked, they admit that they love it when girls play hard to get as it’s a challenge. Now it’s totally understandable that men don’t want a girl who they want as a one night stand to be hard to get and that’s logical because their goals and motivates are different with that girl. But someone who they respect and really wants to date, well that is a whole different kind of ball game, now that is pure entertainment that lasts. The same can go for some women. I’m sure you have heard women say “Don’t play games just talk about your feelings, relationships are not a game just be yourself” and all I can think when I hear this is, relationships are exactly that - A GAME. You are continuously challenging each other, motivating each other and learning from each other, it’s fun and full of intrigue. The man in your life is playing mind games with you every day, whether or not you want it, you are already in the game.

So the question you should ask yourself isn’t why you should play the game but why you MUST play the game. Those who say it can’t be done are always proven wrong by Girls with Game who go out there and show them how it’s done.

Become a woman of high value, click here get your copy the book.This Girls Got Game

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Common Questions

FAQ.

What does it mean to be a high-value woman?

It's not about looks, money, or being unbothered all the time. High-value means your standards are reflected in your behaviour, not just your words. You don't tolerate what doesn't serve you. You don't perform for attention. You don't shrink to keep someone comfortable. It's a posture, not a personality.

How do I become more feminine in a relationship?

Stop trying to manage the outcome. Masculine energy controls; feminine energy receives. If you're the one initiating, planning, fixing, chasing — you're in masculine mode and his masculine has nowhere to go. Step back. Let him show you what he'll do when you stop doing it for him.

How do I stop chasing him?

Stop reaching for the phone when you feel insecure. Stop double-texting. Stop initiating plans. Stop being the one keeping the connection warm. It will feel unbearable for about 5 days. Then it stops feeling unbearable. Then you realise how much energy you were spending propping up something he wasn't carrying his share of.

How do I make a man pursue me?

You don't make him. You become someone worth pursuing — and then leave space for the pursuit to happen. If you fill every gap, there's nothing for him to close. Most women lose pursuit by trying to make it easier for him. Pursuit requires friction. Don't be hard work. Just stop being the one doing the work.

Should I always wait for him to text first?

Not always. But in early dating, yes. The frequency he chooses to contact you in the first 3 months tells you exactly how much he wants to be in your life. If you're filling the silence, you're getting fake data. Let him show you the real number.