- Apr 9, 2020
- 2 min read
Updated: Sep 21, 2021
When a man wants a woman, he sets up a seduction strategy to gain certain benefits like attention or sex by faking long-term interest in her.
These pretenders say and do whatever it takes to minimize disagreements and obstacles that prevent them from getting what they want. Pretenders will create a misleading representation of themselves.
Sometimes, they’ll do it to mask their insecurities. Other times, they’ll do it to be whoever they think you want them to be.
Why?
Well, let’s be real. If a man was upfront about his intentions or his need for self-indulgence, would you be as willing to give him your attention, energy, and affection?
Of course, you wouldn’t.
You would kick him to the curb for wasting your time. All men know a woman will be more sexually suggestive and transparent if there is an idea of commitment.
Men who are not genuine are really good at manipulating you by making you feel special and understood.
This type of man will use phrases like “We would make such cute babies” or “You would make such a beautiful bride” early in the relationship. By using phrases like these, he plants the seed of devotion in your mind. He does this without him having to do anything to prove his commitment. It’s all empty words. But it often causes women to jump headfirst into the relationship.
These men are prone to keeping up the facade until they get bored.
It’s not glaringly obvious to women whether a man is just using her or being honest, particularly if the relationship is new. So be wary.
Don’t be transparent and give a man complete access to your mind, body, and soul. Wait until he can prove that he can be trusted.
Pretenders prey on frail and insecure women who are too open or understanding.
This doesn’t mean you need to be unkind, but don’t allow that kindness to turn into your weakness by giving a man leverage over you.
XXX
Leandra
Negging - His Manipulation Tactic 1 - Click HERE to read
Peacocking - His Manipulation Tactic 3 - click HERE to read
Gaslighting - His Manipulation Tactic 4 - Click HERE to read
Mixed Signals - His Manipulation Tactic 5 - Click HERE to read
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How do I know if he's gaslighting me?
You walk away from conversations more confused than when you started. You apologise for things you didn't do. You start to question your own memory of events you remember clearly. Gaslighting isn't him disagreeing — it's him rewriting reality until you doubt your own version. If you've started keeping notes to prove things happened, that's the answer.
What's the difference between pulling away and emotional manipulation?
Pulling away is about him. Emotional manipulation is about you. Pulling away can be done badly without being calculated. Manipulation is calculated — designed to keep you off-balance so you're easier to manage. If his withdrawals always coincide with you asking for something reasonable, that's not pulling away. That's punishment.
Why does he love-bomb then pull back?
Because love-bombing is performance, not connection. The intensity at the start was him trying to fast-track attachment so he could relax. Once you're attached, the performance ends — because in his mind, he's already won you. The pullback isn't disinterest. It's him stopping the part he was finding effortful.
How do I leave a manipulative man?
Quietly and completely. Don't announce. Don't explain. Don't give him the script of where you're going emotionally — he'll use it. Cut financial, emotional, and logistical ties first. Then leave once. Going back even once teaches him that leaving is a tactic, not a decision.
Is he toxic or am I overreacting?
Ask yourself: do I feel better or worse after most interactions with him? Worse, consistently, isn't "overreacting." Toxic isn't always loud — sometimes it's the slow drain of always being the one apologising, accommodating, second-guessing. If you can't be yourself around him, that's the answer.