What is The 90-Day Rule?
All a girl really wants is love and respect. But it’s become acceptable to immediately sleep with a man before he has given you that love and respect. This is why there are so many single women who just can't find Mr. Right.
Hundreds of years ago, most women knew that a woman’s sexuality is the most powerful force she possesses. But it seems as if this important message about women has been lost through the generations.
Think of your relationship like a card game, and sex is your ace. In most card games, an ace is often the highest value playing card. But in games such as poker or blackjack, the player chooses whether the ace is used as a high or low card. Your relationship is a poker game. You have the power to decide if your ace is used as a high value card. Women are lucky enough to always be given the best hand of cards because of our sexuality. We hold the aces because we hold the power of sex.
But when we don't know how to play, we throw our ace out on the table on the first round to show the man what we have. You’ve just ended the game. The excitement is gone, but he plays with you anyways. Why wouldn’t he if the card is already on the table? Except he's not playing anymore. He puts down any random card because he doesn’t have to put in any effort when the game is over already.
Now if the girl is clever and learns The Game before playing, she will challenge the man. He wins the first round, then she wins a round. This goes on as the excitement builds in anticipation of who will come out the victor. He wants to play again and again, whether you win a game or he wins a game.
Why?
Because it's been fun and you are such a good opponent. He will keep playing the same card game with you because you are a challenge. He must strategize and concentrate and truly play to be the conqueror. As you will read numerous times in this book, men are competitive, no matter who the man is or what he's trying to win.
This competitiveness applies to every relationship and every man. No matter how beautiful or seductive you are, a man will never be devoted to you if you sleep with him too soon. You might get his interest initially, but how long will he be focused on playing such an easy game with you?”
Giving a man instant gratification will drastically lower your chances to be his dream girl
It's in your best interest not to give it up too soon. Men will admit that they want instant gratification by having sex straight away. But the same men will also say if they want a relationship, they prefer to wait.
Why the contradiction?
A man wants a partner who not only loves and respects him but also loves and respects herself. A man must fall in love with your whole being, not just your body. The less you do physically at the beginning of a relationship, the better because men love the seemingly unattainable girl. The worst thing you can do is make it easy for him.
A girlfriend is something a man wants to work for and earn. Playing hard to get is placing a value on yourself and not sacrificing your emotions, feelings, and energy for a man that is not sacrificing the same things for you. When you accommodate his every want and need before you're in a committed relationship, he won't be invested for very long.
Early sex steers the relationship from emotional to physical. The base cravings are fulfilled, but communication and commitment will be lacking. That means if the relationship hits a snag, as all do, the only saving grace is sex. And there's only a few problems that sex can solve.
The 90-day rule is a strategy move, not a deadline
There's a term in dating called the 90-day rule. Basically, it’s where women are told to abstain for the first 90 days of seeing a man.
Like a probation period for a new job, once the candidate proves their capabilities, only then will he be entitled to the benefits.
As a woman, your body, sex, and affection are the benefits. They are the incentive for a candidate to work hard for the trial run. Give the benefits from the start, and the candidate suddenly doesn't have to work as hard. They are already set up with everything they need.
To a certain extent, I agree with this rule. It has a positive payoff, but there is one thing to consider: the 90-day rule is a strategy move, not a deadline. The purpose of the rule is to engage a man’s interest and to identify who he is and what his intentions are before getting intimate. If you consider the 90-day rule a deadline, you mark the calendar and tick the days off until that 91st day when it's suddenly acceptable to sleep with him.
Some women go as far as proverbially showing the calendar. He then knows what deadline he must make it to. He knows when his reward is coming. So, he will stick around until day 91 or 92. Then his benefits come through, and he vanishes. Don't show your calendar, ladies!
It takes a man a few months to acquire any real feelings for a woman. Before you get physical, see if the man is giving you his quality time and attention. His actions need to prove his affections towards you. If he gives you his quality time and expects nothing in return, he is interested. But having sex with a man before strong feelings develop is essentially putting a time limit on the relationship. And the clock is ticking from the first time you have sex.
Why give yourself to someone you are not sure about? There is nothing more precious than keeping your self-respect intact. Don’t feel you owe any man sex because he bought you gifts or took you out or spent time with you. Players will leave regardless if you slept with them or not.
A man’s job is to pursue you and treat you with affection and respect. Your job is to decide if you're comfortable enough with him to give your body and worth.
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