Meeting up with an ex After a Breakup
Dealing with a breakup can be difficult and sometimes it feels impossible to detach ourselves from a relationship. In this article, I will break down the best tips and strategies for successfully meeting an ex after a breakup whether it is for closure, or getting him back.
1: Do you Really want your Ex Back?
If you want to meet with your ex face to face, you need to be truthful about the relationship and the person he is. Was he a good man? Did he respect you? Was he cheating on you with someone else? Were you left for another woman? You must consider everything by asking yourself some tough questions.”
If your reasons for wanting to see him again come from a place of loneliness or insecurity, such as;
“I miss him.”
“I will never find a man as attractive as him.”
“I feel lost without him.”
Then I can assure you that seeing your ex again will not make you happy. Having said that if you believe that your relationship is worth another shot then the best way to get the upper hand at this point is by meeting him face to face.
2: Does your Ex want to see you?
The most important part to remember is to arrange the face-to-face meeting without seeming like you are the one doing the chasing.
When he suggests a date to meet up, say you can't make that day and suggest another day.
If you want him to regret losing you then you have to show him that he is no longer your priority and that you have a life outside of him.
If he has not proposed a date to meet up, yet still calls or texts, then this is when you subtly leave the ball in his court. You do this by saying the following;
"Tom, do you think we can arrange to maybe meet up to discuss this or chat about this another time? I am a bit busy right now.
This tells him that you are open to meeting up, without you doing the chasing. If he doesn’t contact you or try to talk about the relationship, NEVER suggest meeting up with him.
Some dating professionals say a woman should put herself out there. Make the first move if she wants her ex's attention back. They advise that a woman should ask to meet up or call an ex first. I strongly disagree with them. He should be the one who initiates the meetup.
Why?
First, you shouldn't assume that because he contacted you a few times, he wants to get back together. He might be feeling lonely or curious about what you have been up to.
Secondly, you want him to want to see you. If you initiate contact, he will be confused. He won't be sure if this is something he wants to do or if he only agreed to see you in order to be polite.
If he doesn't want to meet up, he's not as interested in seeing you as you are in seeing him. That means he is not at the point of realizing what he has lost. As hard as it is to accept, it's the truth. We can come up with dozens of excuses to make ourselves feel better. He lost my number, he's busy, or he's having family issues. But the reality is when a man is keen on a woman, he pursues her.
I'm not saying he doesn't still have feelings for you if he doesn't suggest meeting up face to face. What I am saying is that his interest level isn't at the place you want it to be yet. If you must remind him who you are and pursue him, you're going to have to keep chasing him. Then you will be back to square one: Dumped or heartbroken!
3: Don’t Obsess about how he Perceives you
The first meetup experience with an ex can be nerve-wracking for any woman. It will be awkward, emotional, and it’s the first opportunity to connect with an ex again. Remember that this is not the first time you are going on a date with him.
Although you want him to be blown away by the new you, the only thing you can control is how you are conducting yourself. Don’t worry about what he is thinking, or you will lose focus and go off course.
If you need help with a personalized Game plan, get yours in 72 hours created personally by me. Click HERE to get yours.
4: Dress the Part
All women face wardrobe panic when seeing their ex for the first time after a breakup. It is understandable, this is your time to shine and show him what he is missing, and that can be nerve-wracking. It shouldn't be scary, and it won't be if you remember five essential points.
Arrange your outfit well in advance
Don't stress out by running around the day of your date, trying to find the perfect outfit. If you are purchasing a new outfit, buy it a few days before your date. This allows you to test drive your new outfit. You don't want to find out 10 minutes into the date that your new blouse is sheer or your new trousers give you a camel toe. Being prepared also gives you time to focus on other things, like doing your nails and hair or just relaxing. Your outfit is significant as it reflects the new you. You want to make sure you didn't just grab anything because you were running out of time. Try to incorporate red into your outfit. Red stimulates a man's desire and makes your attractiveness level rise dramatically.
Comfort should be your main concern
The worst thing you can do is choose an uncomfortable outfit. You want to come across as confident and relaxed. If you're hobbling in 6-inch heels or pulling a too-short dress down over your thighs as you walk, you appear nervous and unconfident. Choose a comfortable outfit that still accentuates your body.
Focus on your hair
Hair is one of the sexiest things about a woman. Men tend to prefer longer hair, so this is the time to let your hair down, whether it be straight, curly, or wavy. Clean, soft, and shiny hair makes you look like a goddess, especially when it's flowing and natural.
Grooming
Most men don't like it when women wear too much makeup. Keep your makeup as natural as possible with nude shades and a dewy complexion. The last thing you want is red lipstick on your teeth during dinner. Or bronzer on his shirt when you hug goodbye. You want to leave him with a lasting impression, not a humiliating one. In regards to perfume: a little goes a long way. To create a subtle scent that isn't overwhelming, make sure you spray on your perfume 45 minutes before seeing him. This will allow the smell to permeate, but also to fade a bit. It will leave him with a subtle aroma.
Keep it classy
Your goal is to be elegant, stylish, and charming. If you dress too sexy, it can come across as though you are desperate for his attention. You don't want to send him the wrong message, but being classy is always sexy. Show a limited amount of skin and do so in portions. If you're showing cleavage, be modest below the waist. If your legs are on display, keep your upper half covered. Always keep it tasteful no matter what assets you're flaunting.
5:Keep Him Waiting
Be 5 to 10 minutes late. Never early or over 10 minutes late. You want to be respectable, but you don’t want to appear too eager. He needs to be the one waiting for you; you are the one leading the direction of the date from the get-go. If you are running over 10 minutes late due to something out of your control, phone him to let him know.
6: The New You
You may want to make a mental note if you have made some changes during your time apart. Have you lost weight, changed your hairstyle started a new hobby or job? This is the time to make it known. Go to the hairdresser to get a sexy blowout or wear a flattering dress. If you have new interests or accomplishments, keep these in mind to bring up in conversation.
When you reveal the changes that took place since he's been gone, you show him that you didn't hit the pause button on your life. Instead, you were enjoying life. This shows him that you aren't needy and dependent on him to make you happy. You will instantly be more interesting. Find a balance between piquing his interest and leaving him wanting to know more about this new you.
7: Be Enigmatic
Let him do most of the talking and pay attention to what he has to say. The most mysterious person has the upper hand. Silence means your emotions are in control. You need to be dominating the entire interaction without letting him know what you are up to. You want to keep him guessing and wondering what you are feeling or thinking. You want him to see that the woman sitting opposite him is slightly different. She has the same sexy characteristics as the woman he fell in love with but also offers new and exciting qualities of a new woman. Don’t have more than two drinks. You want to come across as put together and mature. The last thing you want to do is act silly, become emotional, and say stupid things you wouldn’t say if you were sober.
8: Forget Your Issues for Now
Without a doubt, you will be holding onto anger, hurt, and resentment regarding your ex. Not just for the fact that you are now broken up, but for everything that led to the end of your relationship. You may be holding onto an insult that was said in the heat of an argument. You may still be fuming about how unfairly he treated you or if he was unfaithful. But, the last thing you want after finally getting him to meet up with you, is to have a fight and ruin everything. If you bring up the reasons for the split right now, it will only validate the reason for splitting up. Thank him for owning up to this if he admits to being in the wrong or acknowledges how he hurt you. Don’t let the conversation spiral downward into something negative. Focus on the light conversation and be fun. You don’t want him leaving the date feeling negative. You will have the opportunity to address these issues in due time, but right now is not the time.
9:Keep it Brief
You don’t want to scare away your ex with uncomfortable drawn-out dinners. You also don’t want to appear too eager to get back together with him. Keep your first couple of dates brief 1-2 hours max. This not only evades the awkwardness, but it takes the pressure off of your ex to make a move to get back together. By doing this, you automatically make him want to recommit. Keeping the dates brief will give you both the space to find your way back to each other again without feeling obligated to. When he is ready to recommit to you, then you can start introducing romantic dinner dates.
10: Closing the Deal
Tell him it was great fun, but you have a busy day tomorrow. Don’t divulge the details of what you will be up to. If he asks, just say you are running errands in the morning, then meeting up with a friend later on. Remember, the mysterious person is the one who has a more significant impact on the interaction. He needs to wonder what you will be up to, and who you will be with. This will certainly keep you on his mind. It was your mysteriousness that got you to this point, so keep him wondering.
xxx
Leandra
More Breakup Articles
Get your FREE mini no contact rule cheat sheet HERE
Read "This Girl's Got Game" HERE
Take our quiz HERE
