It can really hurt when a man you love moves on to another girl. Whether he is an ex or having an affair, chances are you are heartbroken. But regardless of how angry and rejected you’re feeling right now, the good news is that, if you want your man back, the odds are in your favor. You actually have all the power you just have to know how to implement the correct strategies to influence his decision to leave this new woman for good and how to maximize the chances, which are already in your favor.
You don’t just want him back in body; you want him back to obsessing over you and falling in love with you. With my help he will soon realize that not everything is what it seems with this new girl and that even salt can look like sugar. With my techniques, the new girl will not only leave a bitter taste in his mouth but you will remind him of that sweet, addictive and yummy woman you are. You're the sugar after all.
1: The Silent Siren
If this has recently happened or you have been trying to reach out to him in order to fix the situation cease contact immediately. The first thing to understand is that men don’t respond to words, they respond to action and in this case, they respond to no action. I’m not just talking about action between the sheets I am talking about no action from your part to initiate any form of contact. This means no texts, no phone calls, no e-mails and definitely not trying to show up in places where you know they will be. I realize that being silent is a tough task when all you want is communication and answers to your questions, but you need to acknowledge that if you contact him you a relaying a specific type of message even if you didn’t intend to. The message he’s interpreting is “My happiness is dependent on you, I need you in my life to function and I am lost without you” We can agree that this isn’t the message you want to be sending and that isn’t the message that’s going to make him start pursing you again.
This is probably the most difficult strategy to stick to because those silly instincts (fix it or force it) start to creep in and take over your logic. You start to tell yourself that maybe if he knows how sorry you are and how you feel he will understand or if you make him feel bad enough he will run back to you. No contact means just that, no contact that includes no tagging him on social media, no messages through mutual friends, nothing. There is a reason why it is said that silence is golden, because it has value. Going silent helps you flip the chase
So why is going silent so effective?
The answer is simple, Projection or the emotional whip as I like to call it .
What is projection?
In simple terms projection involves the transfer of undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else. When he started seeing this new woman his action made you feel confused, helpless, hurt and rejected. He was in control of the entire situation. He was in the lead and you were just following behind him trying to figure it all out. However, if you go silent, he doesn’t know what you are thinking or your emotional state so you transfer those feelings of frustration and insecurity he has made you feel back onto him. This is simply human dynamics working to your advantage.
Cutting him off and speaking through your actions is a blow to his ego. He hurt you because he thought he had control over you but the tables are now turned. By going silent, you show him that you love and respect yourself, put yourself first, and will remove yourself from anyone or any situation that makes you feel inferior. Your actions, not words are saying “Okay so you don’t want me well fine I will find someone who will”. Women that know their worth don’t pursue men that “don’t want them”. That confidence and self-respect is precisely what will pull him in and make you incredibly desirable again.
If you can complete this, then it will put you in a better position for anything else that may come.
You have to know that you need to remain elusive instead of available, as becoming too available may make it so that he thinks of you less and less, thus missing you goes right out the window.
This is the first critical step that you will need to take if you ever hope to get him to love you again.
2: Shift the focus onto yourself
Men love an independent woman because it shows a man that she is independent of him. If a woman makes a man the center of her world especially when there is another woman in the picture he slowly begins to disrespect and devalue her because she is willing to put up with blatant disrespect. Get busy start enjoying life and be social, take part in activities or hobbies, just as you did when you first got together. He’ll notice the very first time you tell him that you can’t talk to him because you are busy or that unexpected Instagram photo of you at drinks with friends or checking in on Facebook for a dance class he had no clue you were attending. Men find a woman who has interests to be more appealing which is why this new girl pulled him in.
3: Play it cool
If you make it too obvious that you’re desperate to get him back he will view you as just that "desperate" and there is nothing sexy about a desperate woman. When you are relaxed and detached, you’ve taken the “need” out of the dynamics of the relationship. You no longer appear needy, which immediately changes how he will view you. Nothing, is as attractive to a confused man than a cool,calm and collected woman in-control of her emotions. He will have the wind knocked out of him — why are you behaving this way, when he’s so used to you bending over backwards to get his attention with tears, pleas and demands, the exact things that sent him into the other woman’s arms? Your composure alone is instantly intriguing, and intriguing is definitely what you want to be.
4: Take the pressure off
The odds of him returning to you are in your favor, so try your best to avoid pushing him even further away with demands and ultimatums. "If you don’t leave that slut this minute, I will never forgive you/ it will be over for good.” The more pressure you take off him the more he will come your way. You want him to come to this decision on his own so that when you do get back together he wont second guess he decision. "Am I back because I want to be or because she made me?" Now I'm not saying you should tell him that you will wait and be patient for him to decide if you are good enough... not at all that would be counterproductive. You are showing him with your actions not words that if he isn't careful he will loose you for good.
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Do you want your ex back, in a tough situation with your man or just need a knowledgeable friend to help?
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