How To Change A Selfish Man

As women when we are in a relationship, we tend to unconsciously become sacrificial love victims. We become so concerned about making the man in our life happy, that we end up giving our power away. This then becomes the actual cause of the man becoming distant, disrespectful and selfish. So how do you make a selfish man change?

Well, first of all, you can’t MAKE anyone do anything BUT you can positively influence his behaviour and this is how…

Step 1: Establish your worth

A big factor of how a man behaves is based on your reactions to his actions. For a man to appreciate and value a woman, she has to establish her own worth. Therefore your response to his selfish behaviour must reflect a woman of high quality. If you allow the selfish behaviour, you send out a certain message to him: “You can treat me disrespectfully and be as cruel as you want and I’ll still love you and give you affection.”

When you don’t stand up for yourself, he hears you say, “The worse you treat me, the nicer I’ll be to you to prove that I am worthy of your love.”

And when you take a back seat to his wants and needs, you’re telling him, “Don’t worry about my feelings. I’ll get over it. It’s more important that YOU are happy.” No man values a doormat and by doing this you are letting him walk all over you. Establish your worth:

  • When he treats you poorly, don’t have sex with him that night. Don’t say why, don’t sulk and don’t say “I’m not having sex with you until…..” You just are not in the mood.

  • Pull back and be less affectionate, but not sulky.

  • Let his calls go to voicemail and don’t answer his texts until a couple of hours later.

  • If he calls you a horrible name, don’t cry. Leave the house for an hour. Drive around, visit a friend, go shopping, just go do something!

  • Don’t cook for him. If he’s a big enough boy to disrespect you, he’s big enough to cook his own meal.

  • Don’t show emotion. It will make him sweat.

Step 2: Mirror Him

Take a page out of his book and be number 1. The more you focus on putting yourself first, the more he will work to be at the top of your priority list. He will consider you a woman worthy of his devotion when you’ve added the key component: respect. And respect determines everything in the relationship. If he gets upset OH WELL! If he expects you to understand then so should he. Mirror him:

  • Mimic his behaviour. If he went out with friends, go out with yours.

  • Don’t plan around his schedule TELL him you will be doing your nails on a particular day so he will have to watch the children. TELL him you have plans on Saturday so you can’t go to his parents for dinner.

  • Instead of putting his needs first, put yourself first.

Step 3: Get a Life

Having the courage to do things that are going to challenge you and make you feel good and excited about life are at the very core of personal growth and independence. This is the perfect time to re-establish and enjoy the life you had before him. There is a big world out there waiting for you to experience and enjoy it.

It grabs his attention because you have your own life and interests aside from him. “Getting a life” will make you appear less needy of him which immediately changes how he views you. Redirect all the attention you were giving him back onto you and do something every day that makes you feel excited about life.

You see when a woman has her own interests she automatically remains a challenge for the man. Get a Life:

  • Don’t let him know where you are all the time.

  • Come home two hours later than you normally do when he’s at home.

  • What better time to start a new hobby.

  • Reconnect with friends.

  • Apply for a new job role.

  • Sign up for a gym.

A healthy relationship is focused on compromising and mutual respect. Small behaviour adjustments on your part might just cause big behaviour adjustments on his.

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