8 Breakup Mistakes to Avoid if you want him to Regret his Decision
It is only natural that you feel as though you are facing withdrawals from the drug that was your ex, which is why you feel the overpowering urge to get him back. You will say and do anything to feel that temporary "high" of being wanted again. You don’t have to fall into the trap that most women do. You don’t have to make mistakes that will permanently damage your chances of getting your ex back. If you’ve made these mistakes, don’t beat yourself up over them. If you’re about to commit them, stop right now. None of these behaviors suits the independent, sexy, and confident woman I know you want to be.
1: Deactivating Your Social Media Accounts
Sure, taking a break from social media for a few days after the breakup is beneficial. It will prevent you from posting cheesy or angry quotes. You wouldn't want to stalk your ex and post 100 filtered selfies. You want to show him how great you look and what he is missing out on, but and this is a big BUT, you should NEVER delete your accounts. This gives the impression that you are handling the breakup poorly and trying to gain attention at any cost. By deactivating your accounts, you are sending a message loud and clear. You are saying, "I don't have self-control or the confidence to face situations like this." A breakup is just that, a breakup, it isn't a breakdown. You shouldn't let people (especially your ex) think that is what is happening.
2: Contact The Sneaky Way
Many women think that the no contact rule has a loophole. They try to rush the process and convince themselves that indirect contact is acceptable. They do this through the following;
“Accidentally" texting him as if you were texting another guy · Phoning him from an unknown number · “Accidentally" (on purpose) running into him
Constantly hanging out at places you used to go together
Talking to your ex's friends about him
Posting or tweeting how much you miss him, love him, or want him back
Wishing him happy birthday, Merry Christmas or Happy New Year
There is no loophole because it doesn't need one; it is sufficient on its own. Don't make the mistake of giving any impression that he is on your mind. He sees right through all these moves, and it's feeding his ego. For women, any form of communication with an ex feels good. It makes you still feel somewhat wanted because he might respond. The fact is that it's destroying your chances of making him realize what he's lost.
3: Expecting Too Much Too Soon
Even if the breakup came as a shock, your relationship didn’t just end at the drop of a hat. Many factors built up to the moment the words “It’s over” were uttered. So, don’t expect to get it back overnight either. You both need time apart to deal with all of the raw feelings that come with the breakup. As much as you might want your ex back, you can’t push them into wanting you again too soon. Rushing could cause you to make irreversible mistakes. If you are patient and follow the correct strategies, you will have a good chance of salvaging your relationship.
4: Idealizing Your Ex
As women, when we feel strongly for someone in a romantic sense, we choose to see the best in that person. The problem is when you idealize an ex; you focus only on the positive characteristics. This causes you to build him up to be something that he never was….. picture-perfect. This is destructive because you place him on a pedestal under a glowing light. When you shine a light on him, you cast a dark shadow on yourself. You were not lucky to have him. If he was in a relationship with you, he viewed you as a catch too.
Now don't get me wrong, I am all for seeing the best in someone, but he shouldn't be idealized. You are not less than him, and he is not more than you. If you stroke his ego by chasing after him and telling him that he will never find a woman who loves him as much as you do, you are in trouble. You can create a monster. Why flatter him when he is the one who disrespected you? Praise needs to happen accordingly, or else he might think a little bit too much of himself.
If you act as though he’s Mr. Perfect, he will start to believe he is.
Giving an ex an ego boost in a breakup situation is not a good idea. If you do this, regardless of his spiteful behavior, he will think that you will accept anything. He will wonder what else he can get away with and that he can do better than you. Why else would you think so highly of him, especially with his lack of commitment? Love is blind, and your blindness might have hidden red flags and glaring issues. No matter how wonderful you think he is, never rule out the possibility that there is someone else better than him. One of the responsibilities of coming to terms with the breakup is to take Mr. Ex off the pedestal. De-idealize both him and the relationship. Glamorizing him will only make it harder and more painful to deal with the reality of the breakup. Whether you get back together or not, remember he betrayed you, lied to you, and hurt you. He's NOT perfect.
5: Blaming It All on Yourself
On some level, it is natural to blame ourselves when a relationship ends. As women, we interpret it as a personal failure. We don’t hesitate to turn against ourselves in moments of abandonment. If you hold on to what you failed to do or what you could have done better, you will never move past this rejection. Regardless of how sorry you truly feel or what you didn’t do, understand that it takes two to tango. The faults in a relationship are not one-sided. When you start thinking self-deprecating things like; you weren’t good enough, or you will never be loved, you damage your self-worth. This is harmful because you internalize and focus on all of your issues and faults. Self-blame will only magnify your perceived inadequacies. It paralyzes you before you can even begin to move forward. No one is perfect; you are only human. Everyone makes mistakes. Accept the responsibility for the mistakes you feel you have made and move forward. Regardless of what happened, you don’t need your ex to validate your worth as a girlfriend and a woman.
6: Rebounding Instead of Dating
Some women think that the fastest way to get over one guy is to get under another. This perception is false and usually isn't very effective anyway. This idea might seem like a quick fix, but you're not emotionally ready to fall for someone else. Any relationship where one person is being used will end in dissatisfaction. Whether it be to elicit a reaction of jealousy or as an ego boost for yourself, it just isn't helpful. It is also not fair to mislead a rebound into thinking there could be something more. How would you feel if you discovered that you were being used as someone else's rebound? If you cared for this person, you would feel awful. More importantly, you need some alone time away from other men, to rejuvenate your self-worth. It might feel good at the moment by getting your mind off things, but it won't take your pain away. You need the time to repair your heart before you jump into the dating scene and a new relationship. If there comes a time when you are ready to become sexually and emotionally available, you will enjoy the interaction so much more. This is because the experience will be about building something with this new individual, not as retaliation against your ex. Being intimate with another man shouldn't be for the purpose of stroking your ego because your ex bruised it.
7: “Ex Sex”
The biggest mistake women make is sleeping with their ex in the hopes of getting them back. They do this to try and make a man remember the passion they shared. It is called ex Sex for a reason because it is just sex. Men can comfortably sleep with a woman with no emotional investment. Ex sex only leads to more confusion and more heartbreak for the woman involved. This will put him more off you, and you will turn from girlfriend to booty call! Guys won’t hesitate to send mixed signals when there is the potential for sex. This will make the possibility of reconciliation confusing. Not only does it make things cloudy, but it can also make things incredibly awkward. You will both be wondering how to move forward.
A Girl with Game is never easy to get, especially after a breakup.
Some women think, "well, I played hard to get in the beginning". "He was my boyfriend, we have slept together loads of times." "Why can't I now?" Sex didn't prevent him from breaking up or hurting you, and it's not going to get him back. Not only will it complicate everything, but it will also make you feel used and disrespected. You don't want to become a desperate woman throwing yourself at a man who rejected you. The only way he should get the benefit of sex from you is if he commits to giving things another go as your boyfriend. Just because he wants to sleep with you doesn't automatically mean he wants to get back together with you. This is the time to remind him that you are a woman who respects herself. You are a woman who doesn't compromise her mind, body, and soul for someone who isn't committed to offering the same. Nobody is worth giving up your
8: Trying to Get Revenge
Did he use you, humiliate you, or cheat on you? Whatever happened, it can become entertaining to fantasize about going warrior woman on his ass. You want to make him pay in some horrendous way for what he has done to you. I don’t fault your feelings; it’s only natural. Yet, it is important to resist acting on any irrational urge you might have. A Girl with Game does not take classic revenge on her exes, we do not blast them on social media or destroy their prized possessions. Instead, we use our wit and charisma to make him suffer. It is true that the best revenge is loving yourself.
The best revenge is becoming “His Miss Perfect”, and him realizing you are no longer his.
Instead of getting angry and making yourself look crazy, use that need for revenge to fuel your energy into something else. Make him think that you are becoming the best version of yourself without him. Did he complain that you were introverted? Post pictures of yourself socializing. Did he complain that you didn’t take care of yourself? Check-in at a gym and work out harder. Did he complain you weren’t ambitious enough? Get a better job. It is important that you do not tell him or send him photos. Instead, let him do the digging and let others tell him of your changes. This is a temporary strategy to help you shift your focus from anger to self-development, but you might realize that most of what he wanted just isn’t you. When you forget who you are, to become loved by someone else, you end up loving yourself less. So, make sure to use this technique sensibly and work on areas that you would also want to improve on.
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